Buried Alive

Holy bureaucracy, Batman. This is insane. I thought the process to get here was hard... It's nothing to everything that happens now. They really do weed out the weak of will and heart!

My head is doing a near-Exorcism spin underneath there,
you just can't see it through the mound of paperwork.

(Let me preface this tirade by saying that I'm very happy to be offered this opportunity to live and work abroad. I'm thrilled with the country in which I've been placed. I'm happy that I have made what I'm told is a very exclusive cut of people who apply. I'm thrilled, really. This isn't complaining, it just sounds very similar.) 

Friday I went to the dentist. I went in again this morning to finish the paperwork. Tomorrow I go to the eye doctor for an exam, paperwork, and new glasses. Next Wednesday I go to the doctor for a physical, paperwork, blood work (about 7 or 8 tests), and 4 immunizations. I am currently staring at the computer screen willing a passport not to cost $110 and praying that my insurance covers the $410 it would take for all of those immunizations because I know it won't cover the $35 for filling out paperwork or the $65 for going for an abnormal visit. I have to get proof of Peace Corps service to defer my student loans, I need to submit my Visa paperwork, I have to finish writing my "Aspiration Statement" and revised resume to send to the Indonesia Peace Corps office as a means of introduction. 

I know I should minimize swearing on the blog,
it being public and all, but there's really no
better way to say it's time to kick some ass.

When I said in the last entry that it would be a lot of "hurry" from now on, I didn't realize how right I was. Luckily I'm spring loaded and want this so badly I can taste it. Luckily I have a history of pulling off miracles with less. Luckily there's no way I'm going to drop this ball. But jesus, I'm tired already. If this is an omen for what the rest of the trip will be like I've got my work cut out for me. It makes sense to get me ready for it now but does it have to put such a painful strain on my wallet in the process? 

Anyhow, no more complaints. As stressful as all of this is, I haven't wasted a moment. It's been a full plate of enjoying people's company and getting my things in order to get all of this done. My sister, of course, found a podcast for us to listen to (she's learning Bahasa Indonesia with me because she wants to...AH-dorable!) called Learning Indonesian. It's actually really quite helpful and easy to follow. I'm getting advice from people about how to adapt to the new climate. And every time I submit a new form, that little green check mark gives me a renewed surge of excitement that I'm one step closer to being there.

Selamat Tinggal! (That was in lesson two. It's saying goodbye to someone who's staying. I'm assuming that would make sense here...)

Saya tidak bisa bicara bahasa Indonesia. (I don't speak Indonesian...yet)

I certainly wasn't expecting another post so soon, but here we are. We meet again on the interwebs. I'm not gonna lie to you, I'm as giddy as a school girl. I mean, ridiculous amounts of goofy.

I got an email this morning. I was in the cab, running late for work, chatting it up with my very sweet driver (Arvind). We were talking about what a scrooge I am and exchanging terrible holiday stories when my phone pinged with the personal email noise. I didn't even look at the screen, really, I just opened the email. I let out an excited little gasp and Arvind got a little concerned. I then had to explain everything to him so that he could understand why I was so excited by one little email. It was an interesting way to find out, in an interesting place, with a complete stranger. But I like it. It seems to be the way this process was meant to go. (I'll have to tell you the story of how I got the idea to apply one of these days)

I'm going to Indonesia. I don't have a specific town or village yet, and I may not until my training is done in country. My departure date is April 10 and I'll start work at my school June 19. 

"Indonesia?" you ask. "What happened to Eastern Europe?" you inquire. Well, I told them they could send me wherever. And they don't particularly give a damn about preferences (they are a government run organization, after all). I always knew that just because I was nominated for Eastern Europe didn't mean I was going to go there. Not to mention the fact that I told them about a million times to consider me their Girl Friday (which I have recently learned means something a little more specific than I understood...awkward!).

Just in case you didn't realize where Indonesia was. It's all up in Australia's grill.

So, I have about a boatload of research and paperwork to read. I'm going to have to get about a million shots and vaccinations. I should probably get a passport. I need to sort out what I'm doing with my job and my family. But it's really real, people. There's a date and a destination and now I can enact my plan. No more hurry up and wait, from here it's just: HURRY.

I took the next step after a few hours of reading and reflection and jumping around like a kid in a candy store. I didn't call anyone to hold my hand this time. I just pressed the accept button and smiled a smile few of you have ever had the good fortune of seeing. 

Holy Happy Dance, Batman!

And that's the game, kids! 

C'mon, guys! Do the HAPPY DANCE!

So, essentially, I got the job but I haven't gotten the offer letter yet. 

I spoke with my Placement Specialist in DC today. She wanted to ask me more of the same questions I've been answering for almost a year now. (So, how do you really feel about the Peace Corps? Two years is a long time, are you sure you're going to be able to hack it? Aren't you going to miss your family and friends? Etc etc etc) Lucky for me, I spend a lot of my job befriending people over the phone, so I practically oozed charm in every way I've been practicing for ages. Looks like it worked! She said that she has qualified me for placement and that she will begin looking for a good match for me. What exactly does that mean? What's the bottom line here? 

I'M GOING TO THE PEACE CORPS!!!

She's hoping to get back to me within the next two weeks with an invitation package. That will have all of the pertinent details like where I'm going and when and what my exact job description will be. She said that it's entirely possible that I'm still going somewhere in Eastern Europe but not the hold her to it. It's also almost certain I will be in the Spring departure time. As early as March but we won't know more about a date until she sends me the invitation package. 

I swear to you I got off the phone today and I was flushed, bright red and near tears. (tears of joy, don't worry)

Most of the people I've told today have been full of certainty and "I knew that would happen"s. Truth of the matter is, I didn't. Call me superstitious or paranoid, but I'm even a little concerned with saying I got in without the letter in hand. As though saying it out loud will make it fall to pieces. Silly, I know, but you're talking to a girl who still wishes on stars. Jussayin. 

An Inch At A Time

It's really a good thing I have a degree in theatre. I have more than mastered the art of hurry up and wait after years of 14 hour tech rehearsals. I applied to join the Peace Corps in January of this year. We are well into November and I have yet to receive an invitation. 

For an update on what has happened: 

I got an email from the Medical Applicant Portal saying that I have been preliminarily medically cleared to serve in the Peace Corps. Which is phenomenal. I mean, whoa. So. What happens now? Well, my application goes to the Placement Board in DC for final review. After they review I will get the thumbs up or down.

Do it... Give me a thumbs UP...

So, then what happened? Alright, so then I got an email from the Peace Corps Placement Office in D.C. requesting that I update my resume to their specifications and answer a short questionnaire. She asked that I return the email within two weeks but that one week would be preferable. I nearly laughed aloud. I sent her a reply the same day. I can't imagine someone not responding same day! I even had multiple people proof my answers and still sent it back same day.

I am one step away from being able to begin planning the next part of my life. I'm hoping that the Placement Board will be an easy hurdle to jump.

Seriously. Going to die of anticipation.

I feel like I've been in this awful holding pattern for months now. Waiting to hear if I'm good to go on this path or if I have to begin making moves to initiate some other, as yet mostly unknown, path. I'm not a foolish girl, I know that I should be prepared for anything, but I want this so badly. I want to be able to travel the world and help kids. I want this opportunity. 

If this falls through I guess the first step would be to hide in my closet and lick my wounds for a day and then immediately start applying for graduate programs in the UK. Getting further education in History would make me just about as happy as anything else would. Maybe exploring other awesome travel-the-world-while-helping-society organizations. It's something to be prepared for, I suppose, but I continue to hope for the best. I'm not crazy, I'm quite bright, and I'm trying really hard. Hopefully they'll be able to see all of that when they review my application. And then they can send me wherever they need me. Africa, Eastern Europe, anywhere they like!

So, finally, to top off the nerve wracking emails and exchanges, one of the placement people had this little gem at the bottom of his email:

"Once you submit your updated materials it may take some time before you hear from your Placement Specialist regarding the final evaluation of your application materials.  You will receive notification as soon as you are qualified for service.  Please note that an invitation is contingent upon both your medical clearance and your final suitability review.  Your Placement Specialist will be in touch about a possible invitation to serve in the weeks following this qualification.  Please keep in mind that the application process is a competitive one, and we encourage you to take this waiting time to continue to gain additional experience relevant to the program to which you were nominated.  This additional experience will also make you a more valuable resource to your potential future community overseas.  In the case that you are not placed in the program to which you were nominated, your Placement Specialist will do their best to match your skill set to the needs of our host countries in a different program."

Gee. Thanks. Now I won't sleep until I hear from you guys. Jussayin. 

Oh well, keeping it positive, right?! Plan A is ideal, Plan B is beginning to be set, and Plan C will come next. No matter how this shakes out I'll be fiiiiiiine.  

*gulp*

Close To My Heart

Upon reading more blogs from various Peace Corps Volunteers I've come to a rather interesting conclusion: as much as I may want to get the hell out of here and on to the next step I have to take a moment to appreciate what I have and where I am before I leave. With that in mind I've been keeping an eye out for the seemingly mundane things that I could otherwise have taken for granted. 

• Walking home late at night staring at the Golden Gate Bridge in the distance (which you can't really see from the Google Map below).

It's alright, I know it's there.

• Catching a glimpse of Sutro Tower (which I firmly believed was called Twin Peaks until I wrote this blog. Nope. That's the name of the hill it's on.) when it's lightly covered in clouds. Almost like the top half is invisible or too tall for us to be able to see. Sometimes you catch a glint of the antennae just above the clouds. Occasionally, when you drive up to the top of the hill you think you've entered an odd mix between a really trashy scary story and some netherworld. The fog absolutely takes over.

What it usually looks like.

• NOT seeing the Golden Gate Bridge. People come from all over the world to catch a glimpse of this amazing feat of man and then stare at this vaguely ominous darkness. No bridge, no sun, only a dark fog. I absolutely love the bridge like that.

What many, many tourists see.

• Indian Food and Wine delivered to my door in an hour or less. In my humble opinion, all the world's ills can be solved with Indian food and a little red wine. First day off in a few months? Unwind with Indian food and wine. Crappy day? Make it better with Indian food and wine! Awesome day? Top it off with Indian food and wine!! The fact that both of these things can easily appear at my doorway in approximately an hour just makes it all that much more enchanting.

• Batman marathons. Batman comic books. Batman cartoons. So, maybe just all things Batman. I have to be mindful of what I pack when I go away. I can't carry my whole library to wherever I end up. I might be able to take my iPad, but let's not hold our breath. I am preparing myself for a life with very little Batman. But fear not, my friends, nothing will come between me and my undying love for the caped crusader, the dark knight, the masked manhunter, the demon of the night.

 

• The strip clubs at night. That's right, kids, the strip clubs. Not because I've ever been to one or because I condone the practice but because they amuse me so. I mean, how very out of place they seem to be in the middle of Little Italy. You drive by at night and you see the matching steeples of Saints Peter and Paul Church in the distance, watch all the hustle and bustle of people going to wonderful, high end, Italian restaurants, and then BAM! Strip Clubs. They're lit up like Christmas, or (perhaps more aptly...) Vegas. 

• Santa Cruz! It may very well be the closest thing I've ever had to home. More so than Raleigh, where I spent the first bit of my life, by far. This is where I grew up. I only lived there for two years but it's the only city other than San Francisco that I feel such a strong tie. From the Boardwalk, to the hidden beaches, to my tattoo studio, to Natural Bridges, to the Monarch migration, to the hole in the cliff, to the surf museum. 

 

• The Rose Garden at Raleigh Little Theatre. Before there was Santa Cruz there was North Carolina. There aren't a whole lot of places that I miss, we moved a lot so there's no one house that really signifies a home for me there. The place that brings back the most good memories, that seems to be the most consistent, that will always hold a place in my heart (whether I actually get married there or not) is the Rose Garden. I remember how sad I was every year when they would cut back the roses right in the middle of summer. I remember how gross the fountain used to be. I remember all the little hiding spots and details that makes it beautiful and home.

• Seven Maples Campground - Hancock, NH. A strange campground. Most of the time when I was growing up it was poorly managed and poorly maintained with more RVs than tents and awful showers. To give it a little credit, it's much better now. The new owners have been doing great things since they bought it and it's really much nicer. Even when it was a dump, though, it was always perfect. Every summer it's where I could go and be surrounded by the biggest, loudest, rowdiest, most wonderful family a girl could ever hope for. 

Yes, yes those are, in fact, seven maple trees. Thus the name.

• My family. Not necessarily the people tied to me by blood but the people that have grown to love me unreservedly without familial obligation. The people who have been there with me through the trenches and back out the other side. I will miss every single cast member I have worked with. You are all so dear to me. I'll do my best not to drop off the face of the planet but for each of you reading this, whether your picture ended up below or not, I love you and you make my life a little better by sharing it with me. 

All these bitches are crazy. I mean, some of them have put up with me for a loooooong time.

  

• My family. The ones that brought me in to this world, who met me a little later, who love me forever and always just the way I am. Anyone who knows me knows there is nothing more important to me in this world than my family. So, hats off to the rowdy bunch of mismatched lunatics that managed to raise me. You're all nuts and you all make me crazy but I wouldn't change it for the world. There were too many of you to add pictures of but you know who you are.

Left to Right, Up to Down: My grammy and I, my older sister, my younger sister with my mom, my younger sister in all her adorable glory, my step-dad with my two aunts and my grandmother, my dad and I, my youngest brother and I, my two other brothers and I, and my middle brother and I. Lots of siblings. Lots and lots of family.

I could keep going. All the things I love. The places and memories that make me happy. The Red Sox, Land's End, Wilmington Beach, bio-luminescent oceans, star gazing on Mount Diablo, The Academy of Science's Nightlife evenings, the planetarium, scary movie marathons, Eeyore, DisneyLand, Highway 1, and countless others. I'm grateful for where I am and the places I've lived, the people who love me. I'm also grateful that I might have the opportunity to go elsewhere and experience even more spectacular life events. So, let's do this!

Inordinate Excitement

Every time I get so much as a peep from the Peace Corps my heart leaps in to my throat and my stomach drops to the floor. I have to read and re-read the emails just to be sure I've covered all of the important points. It's getting a bit silly, really. The longer I have to wait the more anxious and exuberant I get. All the information warned on the length of the process. It all mentioned that it would test the bounds of patience. It seems like no matter how full I pack my days I'm still staring at an invisible clock on the wall counting down the hours. It's really quite dangerous. I don't even know for sure that I'll receive an Invitation. I don't know for sure where they would send me. 

The good news: I got an email today from the Peace Corps saying that starting August 1 I'm back on. I should be getting an email from the newly designed application system. I'll fill out this Health History Form and we'll go from there.

Also good new, I PASSED THE LEGAL SCREENING!!! Not that I was all that worried, but c'mon, it's the FBI, they're scary. I figure that was the biggest obstacle and now I'm free and clear on that front.

And the final bit of good news, my current tutoring at Project Read is going so well. I work with my learner about once a week and then we go to a book club hosted by Project Read once a month. In addition to that I will be starting up tutoring kids with Back on Track come mid-August. I'm hoping all of that will result in a damn good resume for the official board in DC when they do the final review.  

And Then...

So, I just got my formal nomination in the mail today. Or, I suppose yesterday. 

Program Name: 

English Teaching

Tentative Departure Date: 

May 2013

Region: 

Eastern Europe

It goes on to tell me that since the procedures of the application process are changing that I will effectively be in a holding pattern until August. Patience is not one of my stronger virtues.

In August I'm supposed to get a Health History Form so that I can fill that out and they can decide I'm not a sickly creatures too delicate to travel. Once that happens the medical folks review it and see if I'm pre-qualified. After that I get a legal review related to marital status, financial obligations, previous arrests and convictions, dependents, etc. 

Not going to lie, all the rigmarole makes me a little nervous but I guess if I just keep doing exactly what they ask me to do I'll be just fine. 

Decisions, Decisions

Good Heavens! I went in to the interview more nervous than I had been in a long while. No job interview can compare. I called my mom on the way (not even going to pretend to lie about that) and told her I was going to vomit! Not from performance anxiety or a concern for success, but instead because I wanted it so badly. There is already so much of me and my hopes invested in this opportunity.

Not an hour after I had left the interview I got an email from my recruiter with not one, but two possible nominations: Eastern Europe or Sub-Saharan Africa. Oi, decisions will be the death of me. My thought process went a little something like this:

A visual aid for my decision making process. This actually happens a lot.

My heart is screaming to go to Africa. To really explore the outer reaches of my boundaries and push the proverbial envelope. There is a lot more involved but, hey, that's why I'm here, to really experience a whole new world (yes, yes I did go there).

While Africa is doing a little dance to get my attention my ever present practical side is looking at the job requirements. Eastern Europe is looking for someone who has "leadership development, planning and project management implementation, and youth and community outreach experience." I think I just found a new way to spell my name and that's it. I love the idea of being able to bring my already existing skill set into the equation, to build and hone that skill set to extreme circumstances and really maximize the breadth of my possible impact.

Yeah, ultimately Eastern Europe did a song and dance to get me to sway my mind even while my heart leaped for Africa. Honestly, first world problems. In the end I may or may not go to Europe, they could send me somewhere completely different and I am a-ok with that possibility. That's one of the reasons I signed up. The varying life experiences, learning to really be able to roll with the punches. As I said probably 20 times during my interview: Let's do this.